Prussia's little visit
by PockyWarriors
Summary: It's Hungary's time of month. Any sane person would stay away right? Well Prussia wouldn't. Hints of GerIta and SwitzAust if you squint.


First PruHun Fic. Tell me how I did

Hidekaz owns Hetalia

Hungary lives with Austria

Austria walked in to his kitchen and immediately walked back out. He decided to go and practice a piano piece Germany had given him. Besides no one wanted to tell the already moody Hungary, Prussia had screwed up her kitchen.

Inside the kitchen Prussia was singing a song:

_The awesome me!_

_Can swing from a tree_

_The awesome me!_

_Pees in England's tea!_

_He says it's good_

_Well he should!_

_After all the awesome me pissed in his tea _

_Ksesesesesese! ~_

Cackling he opened another beer bottle and took a swig throwing the cap down at the food covered floor. He looked around at the chaos he created then gave a satisfied sigh.

Humming his new song he waltzed across the kitchen to the calendar. His attention gravitated towards a week circled in red. He eyed the week and decided the awesome him would pay Hungary's room a visit.

He walked out of the kitchen past Austria who was looking at a complicated piece of music.

"Damn you Mendelssohn! Why must your quarter notes be so rapid!" Austria snarled at the paper.

"Damn you Austria! Why must you be such a dickwad?" Prussia sang back.

"Shut up Prussia." Austria snapped. A little embarrassed at being caught talking to a piece of paper. "Where are you going?"

"That thing you call a woman Hungary's room" Prussia called back cheerily as he walked up the steps.

Austria abruptly stood up and almost told Prussia to stop. _Almost_. Well, let him make Hungary mad. We'll see what's left of him when Hungary gets through with him. After all no one bothers Hungary when it's her special woman time. Austria thought about that and smiled Prussia wouldn't be able to function therefore he wouldn't be able to get to his house.

Smiling he sat back down to sink into the world of crescendos and fermatas. Humming he listened to the sounds of Prussia walking to his death.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Upstairs: Hungary's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Grumbling she sank back into her rocking chair. She looked at the sword in her hand and threw it at the far wall. It nailed itself into the picture of Austria. Mumbling she dragged herself to the bathroom to pull her hair back.

Prussia finally made it to her room after walking in on a maid who was changing skirts, tripping over his feet and falling down the stairs onto his awesome ass.

"The awesome me has made it to my final destination!" He crowed while banging on her door.

"What the hell?" Hungary growled. She walked towards her door, "Whose there?" No one answered.

She grabbed the pan on her bed and opened the door hiding behind the door. Prussia was about to pounce when he noticed that no one was there. Of course the awesome Prussia only noticed this as soon as he made it past the threshold.

Hungary stared at Prussia. She was not in the mood for guests right now. Especially not Prussia. She walked up behind him and whacked him upside the head.

"Where the hell did you come from ?" she snarled.

Prussia who had fallen flat on his face looked up at her rubbing his head. He decided to be smart.

"Well you see Hungary when a man and a woman love each other very much they come together and-"

"Shut up" Hungary said laughing, "I don't think that works with countries". Prussia stared at her astonished. His jokes never made her laugh…unless something was wrong with her.

"Are you okay Hungary?"

"Of course why?"

"You laughed at my joke"

"It was funny. Why? I can't laugh?" she said smirking.

"No! Laugh! You have a very pretty laugh." He blabbered.

"Hmmm I'm trying to figure out if I should spear you with a knife or thank you for the compliment"

"No please accept my compliment I'd like to keep my treasures for at least one more day thank you" Prussia replied shielding his crotch from any surprise knives.

Laughing Hungary sat down in her chair and that was when Prussia saw what she was wearing. A small tank-top with tiny shorts. Prussia glanced over all this with a small gleam of appraisal.

Hungary noticed the gleam in his eyes and shivered a little bit. Prussia noticed but decided to let it go.

"So Hungary…I umm noticed the calendar on the fridge and there was red circle around you know one of the weeks…so what's up with that?"

Wrinkling her nose she said, "Oh you noticed that? Well… you see Prussia when we females reach a certain point in our life something happens" She glanced at him to see if recognition slapped his face yet. But he looked as innocent as a vital region-crazed man could look.

Sighing she walked over to her bookcase and picked out a book. She walked back over and gave it to Prussia, "Here" she said, "This will explain it to you now go because I need to visit my second home this week."

"Where's that?" asked Prussia.

"The bathroom" she replied and pushed him out the door.

"Huummpphhhh" Prussia growled, "She couldn't take my awesomeness" He looked down at the book she practically threw at him. It read: _The Idiots Guide to the Woman's Cycle: For ignorant husbands, stupid boyfriends and gay friends around the globe._

This confused Prussia why would Hungary give him this? He was not her husband, he wasn't gay…most of the time. And he most definitely was not her boyfriend. Still questioning this he walked down the stairs out of Austria's house and towards his own.

-Prussia/Germany's place -

Germany looked up to see Prussia walking in reading a book. _A book_. A freaking book. Since when did the awesome Prussia read books! Never. Germany just sat there in the kitchen like an idiot which wasn't normal for the efficient Ludwig.

Finally getting up he walked over to Prussia casually grabbing a book and sitting down.

He tried to read the title but he couldn't make out the title.

"So Prussia umm how was your day?" Germany said.

"Mmm fine thanks yours" Prussia said back, not really paying attention.

Now Germany was really shocked. Prussia never responded to his questions; much less ask him how his day was. He instead preferred to recount the day's tales and why they made him so frikin awesome!

"Ah-fine-thank you. Um what are you reading?"

"Really? Was it good? Good." Prussia said back.

"Dammit what are you reading!" Germany yelled and tackled the lighter male down to the floor. He grabbed the book took one look at where Prussia left off. Which was conveniently on the page describing child birth from a father's point of view.

"Prussia" Germany said in a strangled-trying-to-remain-calm-voice, "What is this about?"

"Germany! I can explain!"

"Did you get a girl pregnant? Prussia you can't afford a condom! You won't be able to pay for child support!"

"Funny how would you know about condoms, brother? You can't even get a drunken Italy to sleep with you" Prussia said teasingly.

"Yea? Well at least I know the last names of the people I sleep with!"

"Touché" Prussia chuckled, "Listen little brother, I'm in no mood to fight so I'll explain nicely. Are you ready?"

"Yes"

"Okay…Mind your own fucking business!"

Germany sighed. Leave it to his brother to say something like this but still be at a disadvantage. Germany was still sitting on top of him.

Prussia, noticing this struggled to get up, but couldn't. "Fine-I'll tell you why."

Germany nodded and sat up. After helping his brother up he sat on the couch and waited.

Running his hand through his hair he looked at Germany and said, "Mind you own fucking business" Than he sprinted out the front door and slammed it shut.

Germany stared at the door, only his older brother would do something stupid like that. Running out of his own house with no where to go. Sighing he decided to go entertain Italy…after all it was rude to keep special guests waiting.

Cackling, Prussia ran away from his only place to sleep, and didn't stop until he reached a secluded piece of garden that belonged to some poor unsuspecting aristocrat.

"Kesesesesesese! The awesome me just owned that sucker!" Laughing loudly he turned to look at his surroundings.

"What the hell? Where am I? He walked out from behind a tree and looked up at the giant house. Something looked familiar. Wait was that the blood spot from the last time Hungary smacked him with her pan because he was spying on Austria? Looking closer he could see that little silver hairs were stuck to it.

Yup, it was his blood. And this was Austria's house. Sighing he sunk down to the ground and looked at the book in his hand. He realized now why the spot was covered in red. He cringed with the fact that that was supposed to be the same color that pained Hungary.

_Hungary! Poor Hungary_, Prussia thought. Maybe _she needs some consolation._

Smirking deviously he crept around the house and looked up at her window. How was he going to climb that? Sighing he started to climb the vines.

**********************Hungary's room*********************

She couldn't get to sleep. She was cramping because she was cold. And she was pissed because there were no pads so she had to go buy some. And she was pissed because she was tired and couldn't go to sleep.

Then the window to her balcony opened up and she saw a man's shadow. She grabbed her pan and attacked.

"Gahhk~ Hungary! Stop! It's me the Awesome!" Prussia yelled.

"Prussia what the hell are you doing here?" Hungary whispered.

"Hungary it's awful! What you have to go through! But why does it make you so moody?"

Hungary gapped at him. She didn't expect him to read it. That was so sweet-wait this was Prussia she shouldn't believe him-but his arm that was around her waist was so warm and he looked so sincere. Austria never bothered to ask her if she was okay…he seemed to be scared of her-even more-when she was on her time. But maybe that was because last time she was on it she threatened to push his piano off a cliff.

"Thanks Prussia that-that's really nice." Hungary said.

"Yea-I know! The awesome me is sweet!" Prussia crowed, "But actually I came to umm you know comfort you…so can I sleep with you?"

Hungary stared at him. Prussia stared back, "But the other reason is because I was an idiot and I ran out of my house and the awesome me is not going to look like and idiot twice and go back!"

"Oh okay." Hungary laughed and helped him up. She nestled into the far side of the bed and Prussia got in with her.

"Hungary?"

"mmm?"

"Are you cold? The awesome me is cold"

"Mhhmm"

"Okay" and with that Prussia snuggled up next to her and wrapped his arms around her, both finally falling to sleep.

**********************Next Morning*************************

Austria walked into Hungary's room the next morning to ask her if she wanted to go for a walk. He looked at Hungary he looked at Prussia. He walked back to his room, where a sleeping Switzerland slept on his bed.

"Switzy…"he said shaking him a little, "do you have anymore….?"

Switzerland pointed to the nightstand where a couple of condoms laid. Austria grabbed them and walked back to Hungary's room. He laid them next to Prussia's head and walked out closing the door.

Prussia opened his eyes a little and smirked. He looked down at the brunette whose head was lying on his chest and he patted it. He pocketed the condoms and thought: _I could use these later_. Still smiling he pulled Hungary closer and fell back into sleep.

Well…hmm not too romantic….but please tell me how I did!


End file.
